Grandson for Courage

I have a little retreat in the suburb of my home city. I only spend my mornings there – reading, gardening or doing nothing – just enjoying being there. I never spend any dark evening there as I suffer greatly from phasmophobia – the fear of ghosts. I have never spent any nights there, either.

It took the company of my grandson, Daniel, who is only two and a half years old to give me the courage to spend the night there. I babysat him when he was home on holiday. We spent three nights at the retreat.

On the first night, I turned on all the lights at the pied-ā-terre. I had the lights in the bedroom switched on, too. I found it most difficult to go to bed as my imagination of ghosts had gone to overdrive. I was so terribly frightened that some spirits might suddenly appear that I had an extremely restless night.

The second night was better as I had a bit more courage then. I was able to go to bed albeit with some difficulty.

I found myself better relaxed on the third night. Daniel had finally given me the courage to be there that night.

But do you think I will be able to spend a night, all by myself, there after this?

ltbs

Coward – one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

Ambrose Bierce

Enema Again and Again

I was unable to empty my bowels after I suffered a serious spinal ailment, years ago. I was bed-bound and had to lie totally flat on a plaster-of-Paris bed which was placed on a wooden frame. I just couldn't move my bowels with the bedpan, placed under my bottom, below the plaster-of-Paris bed.

The surgeon first, asked the hospital dietician to put me on a diet of lots of fruit and fruit juices but that did not help to stimulate the evacuation of my bowels. Then he prescribed an aperient  -  a mild laxative  -  but the medicine had no effect. Stronger laxatives were not effective, either. 

Finally, the surgeon had to resort to having the nurses give me enemas. I wonder whether this practice is still being used today in modern medicine. A liquid, (soapy, I think) was poured, via a funnel connected to a tube with its nozzle stuck deeply in my anus, into my rectum to irritate or stimulate my bowels to empty.

A foldaway screen was placed around my bed when the enema was given. I was quite embarrassed when the enema started working as the sound of breaking wind, the sound of the spurts of liquid together with the faeces and the stench would fill the whole ward.

I had to be given an enema once a week. Every Wednesday was enema-day! I dreaded that very much. Can you imagine the embarrassingly horrible smell and sound stimulated by the enema when I was emptying my bowels? I was continuously being given the enemas for more than six months until I was allowed to walk with a heavy plaster-of-Paris casing around my upper torso to protect my spine. I was then able to easily empty my bowels sitting on the toilet bowl.

ltbs

Got no check books, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks  -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night.
Irving Berlin

Writing to No One

I write on the Net  -  writing to no one in particular. I share my emotions  -  my joy and my pains. I am proud to showcase my family and friends who have been kind to me. What's wrong with this?

Whenever I'm troubled, I just pour out my feelings into the Blue Nothing. I tend to be rather very insular on a personal level but not on the Net.  My troubles seem to shoot into the infinite caldera of Cyberspace, taking the demons that torture my soul with them.

Writing has been very cathartic for me. This has been my way of keeping ennui and boredom at bay, too. 

ltbs

For me, writing is foremost a mode of thinking and, when it works well, an act of discovery.

Joseph Epstein

Won a Nobel Prize?

My books will never win a Pulitzer Prize
Neither will they win a Booker Prize,
As they aren't very special at all
Enjoyable only to a few readers.

My books are quick reads
Having one-page stories of my life
Exaggerating, telling a few white lies
I've made something out of nothing of my simple life.

I feel rather blithesome
When total strangers getting my books,
Enjoy them thoroughly
Making me feel like I've won a Nobel Literature Prize!

ltbs

Maggie and I read through the series of your books from Liz and we saw fitting to have them in our library and therefore our request for the books.
We thoroughly enjoy the books! Particularly, the articles are short and meaningful, reflecting realities of our upbringings.
George Lim and Maggie 

Toronto, Canada

Why Torture Myself

The very first time I played football in England was against the school XI of St Chad's in Wolverhampton. This was the time when Wolves  -  Wolverhampton Wanderers  -  was one of the top teams in the EPL and the late Sir Alexander Matthew "Matt" Busby was the manager of Manchester United. This was six years after the plane crash in Munich which almost wiped out the MU team. That was a very long time ago...a truly long time ago!

On the afternoon of the match, it was very cold and damp as it was winter then. It drizzled before the game and then it started to rain after we kicked off. However, we were not soaked as the rain was rather light.

The match saw us being completely outclassed by the boys who stayed on our half most of the time. I had hardly any chance to kick the ball. I would just pace along the right wing, with my arms folded and my hands under my armpits trying to keep warm. The score at half-time was 4-0 in the schoolboys' favour.

During the second half, sleet fell and then followed by a short spell of snow. The schoolboys had complete possession of the ball so I had nothing to do on the right wing. I was extremely cold.  Just a few minutes before the end of the game, small hailstones rained down on us, too.

We lost 12-0 but we were too numbed with cold to feel or care about the defeat. It was my first encounter with the wet weather in England. But it was not as bad as fielding on a cricket match  - playing at slips  -   and standing in the windy cold for ages. I wonder why I tortured myself then by choosing to take up these two games in the UK, where we lost badly all the time, and had to endure the terrible, cold, windy weather.

ltbs

If you can't accept losing, you can't win.
Vincent Lombardi

Why Poison the Fish?

I was quite puzzled, one day, to find a few Sultan Fish (leptobarbus hoeveni)  -   ikan jelawat  - floating dead in my pond in my front garden. Each fish was about a foot long but was not suitable for the table due to its mysterious death so the stray cats were given a feast by me.

The pump was working well and the water level in the pond was all right. It had also been raining daily. The fish should be able to thrive in the pond. It was a mystery why the fish had died.

However, I found a whiskey bottle-stopper floating on the surface of the pond that morning. I guess the cause of the death of the fish might be due to intoxication or poison. A bottle of whiskey or poison must have fallen into the pond. I wonder whether the bottle had fallen from the sky like in the film The Gods Must be Crazy.
I closed up the pond after that unfortunate, mysterious incident.

I was quite puzzled, too, to find a young, inflorescent-bearing coconut tree wilting in my backyard, a few years ago, on my return from an oversea vacation. There was a ring of dried grass caused by the pouring of derv around the base of the tree. The palm soon withered and died due to the diesel-poisoning. This was another mystery that had yet to be solved.

ltbs

To withstand the assaults of envy, you must be either a hero or a saint.

Publius Syrus

Why Not Make Some Money from It?

I met a former schoolmate for coffee at a food court. After a pleasant chat, I asked him whether he could help sponsor the printing cost of my book.

Without any hesitation, he handed me a generous sum of money and said, "Why not make some money for yourself? Keep a bit of the proceeds. Why donate everything to charity organizations?"

I guess, he was thinking of my welfare as he knew of my financial position of not drawing a pension or having any EPF.

But I replied, "It's OK. I'm OK with it. The charity organizations can keep 100% of the proceeds. The printing cost will have been borne by others like you included. I won't have to stump up anything."

Again, he said, "You should keep something for yourself".

I continued, "I'm OK. I don't yearn for any worldly possessions at this stage of my life. I'm satisfied with whatever little I have. I've more than enough to spend with the generous pocket money from my children. I'm also thankful to my wife for her strong financial support, too. I pray that the Good Lord will continue to keep me healthy".

ltbs

The day, water, sun, moon, night  -  I do not have to purchase with money.

Titus Maccius Plautus

Why Do I Weep?

Someone's been very kind to me
It drives me into a pensive mood,
And I weep.

I weep 'cause I'm unable to reciprocate
For that someone's got everything,
And isn't in need of anything.

I'd just pray to the Good Lord,
To reward that someone
Who's been so very kind to me.

ltbs

The making of friends who are real friends is the best token we have of a [person's] success in life.
Edward Everett Hale

Dedicated in gratitude and friendship to Datin Peggy Lim and Dato' John Lim

Why Can't I Escape from People Unkind?

Every now and then
I'd encounter some people unkind,
And I'd run away from them every time
But new people would take their place.

I'm so sick and tired in my heart,
To keep on meeting people unkind
Is there anything intrinsically wrong with me?
Why can't I escape from such people?

ltbs

Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
Proverbs 11:17

Who is Your God?

You speak of God,
You praise Him, always.
But who is your God?
When you show no charity towards others?

I am but a poor sinner,
But God's been kind to me
Making me strong and confident
To be indifferent towards any holier-than-thou.

ltbs

Counting other people’s sins does not make you a saint.
Author Unknown

Who am I?

I'm just a simple soul who enjoys sharing my thoughts with others – I’m, but a Nobody.

I have literally opened up my soul in my writings. Those who read my books will come to know a bit about me. Those who thought they knew me would also know more about me.

ltbs

I am simply what I am, or I begin to be that. I live in the present. I only remember the past and anticipate the future. I love to live.

Henry David Thoreau

Where Have All the Young Men Gone?

Robbing the cradle or lucking out
Aged Lotharios have been finding success
With young girls more than half their age
To relive the romances of their youth.

Some lounge lizards have found instant success with their money,
While other rakehells with their gift of the gab
And indulge in licentious liberties with the young ladies
With the help of Viagra or some other aphrodisiacs.

But the young girls are no naive Lolita
Of Vladimir Nabokov fame,
They are much more experienced and wily
Than the silly old goats who flaunt them so lecherously.

ltbs

Stupidity always saves a man from going mad.
Oliver Wendell

What's Enough to the Young?

How annoyed and frustrated can a father be,
When contrary to his advice, in this recession-looming time,
A daughter refuses to accept a supposedly high-paying job
Because she feels RM200K per year is not satisfactory enough?

How troubled and unhappy can a father be,
When contrary to his advice, in this recession-looming time,
A son wishes to resign from a truly high-paying job
Because he feels RM300K per year is not challenging enough?

ltbs

How simple and frugal a thing is happiness, a glass of wine, a roast chestnut…the sound of the sea.

All that is required to feel that here and now is happiness is a simple, frugal heart

Nikos Kazantzakis

Whatever I Was, I’m Not Now

I used to be touchy, aggressive and rather choleric,

Woe betided anyone who crossed me.

You wouldn’t like me then

I wouldn’t like myself, either

I was rather obnoxious – a real ogre  -

As I had so many demons in my head, then.

I’m delighted that

Whatever I was, I’m not now

I don’t take offences easily

Neither do I react to offensive people

I’d remain totally calm and indifferent

As I’ve cleared rather a few demons from my head.

ltbs

The most memorable people in life will be the friends who loved you when you weren’t very lovable.

Author Unknown

What Makes Me Smug?

I felt smug when I caught a self-righteous someone sneaking quickly out of a prostitute-den, as I sat having a meal by the casement at a restaurant opposite.

His secret would be safely embedded in me as no one would know of his indiscretion  -  neither his wife nor anyone else.

However, from that incident onwards, I will smirk a little whenever he struts and swaggers self-righteously in front of little-devil-me.

ltbs

Whoever sins least, he is the best man; for no man is innocent, no one free from blame.
Epicharmus

What do Young Girls Want?

"My daughter's divorcing her husband," a friend confided in me one day. "She phoned him about it while she was on a taxi from work!"

" Which one of your daughters? " I asked, as I knew my friend had five very beautiful and lovely daughters.

"The third one – she’s found him too boring." he answered.

I was quite taken aback by the daughter's reason for divorcing her husband. They had just been married for about three years.

I remembered another friend, who was in his seventies, confiding in me that he was having a thing going with a twenty-year-old college student. I did not believe him at all. I thought it was just an old man’s fantasy. 

I wondered whether it could be true after all as my friend's supposedly paramour had a young boyfriend and had found the young fellow boring, too. So she had sought the companionship of my old friend instead!

This sets me thinking about what young girls want nowadays.

ltbs

Love… includes fellowship in suffering, in joy and in effort.

Albert Schweitzer

What a Lucky Escape

I stood on a low ledge, one day, to place some kibbles on an awning for a stray cat. Then I jumped down from the ledge but I found myself suddenly slipping and sliding down on the slippery floor. I instinctively used my right hand to break my fall but landed hard on my bottom. Except for the excruciating pain on my right bottom, a slight pain on my right palm and feeling a tinge of pain on my neck, too, I was all right.

Looking back, I realized that I had escaped from serious injuries. I could have hurt myself terribly had the back of my head not missed hitting the hard concrete ledge. It was a very lucky escape, indeed.

Well, the upside of that incident was that it somewhat uplifted me. I felt that the Good Lord had protected me.

ltbs 

There is luck in sharing a thing.

Irish Saying

Warm Hospitality in South Korea

When we were in South Korea, we were invited to stay with a rice-farmer a couple of hundred kilometres from Seoul, the capital city.

Our friend – the farmer – fetched us from our hotel in Seoul. The drive from the city first ended in a large village restaurant. The food was truly local Korean fare which included a few items new to me  -  small chilled, raw crabs in a kind of dark sauce, fresh slices of skate in a tasty sauce, sliced pieces of duck which tasted a bit like salami, a creamy, soft, white tofu curd and jelly made from acorn powder (the items were translated to me on the iPhone by my host when I enquired what they were).  We were, then, shown round the village before ending up at the host's.

At his home, there was another meal waiting for us! It was prepared by his wife. This time, the food was something different; among the dishes was a dish of raw salmon and tuna.   Korean beer, home-brewed rice wine, ginseng wine and home-made apple and plum cider were passed round as we sat on the floor  -  dining around a low table. I had been a teetotaler for years but to be polite to the host family, I opted for the low-alcoholic cider!

The double-storey farm house was very modern. It was centrally-heated but the heat could be adjusted for every room individually. I found the heat too warm for me, so I had it turned off in my room. I had the window slightly ajar and I found it very comfortable with a cold draught blowing in.

It was a most enjoyable stay in the countryside as the farmer and his family were most hospitable to us.

ltbs

Similarity of outlook creates friendship.

Democritus

Uplifting Encounters at an IRB Office

Having encountered rude taxi drivers, crude bus-drivers and haughty Government officers, it was a change, indeed, to find very friendly, caring and helpful officers at my local Inland Revenue office when I went there to do the e-filing of my income tax returns.

You should be there to see how friendly, caring and helpful the IRB officers were. Every one of them was very patient with the tax-payers who had come to do the e-filing of their income tax. Quite a few of the tax-payers were extremely slow and were only able to use a single finger in keying and completing the forms but the officers were very gentle and patient in helping them.

E-filing my tax returns always makes me sad after  I calculate that  my present annual income is less than my monthly income when I was gainfully employed, before my retrenchment, ages ago. I felt sickeningly upset that I was a "poor rich"!

However, the friendly atmosphere at the IRB office helped to lessen the pain of feeling poor! It uplifted me to feel fortunate to have an understanding, very financially-strong wife and three wonderful, very filial, generous children. I came away from the Inland Revenue office thanking the Lord for enabling me to lead a simple but fun-filled life albeit with no pension or any EPF. I felt rich, indeed!

ltbs

Lives based on having are less free than lives based either on doing or on being.

William James

Two Very Talented Souls

One was a talented musician  -
A guitarist extraordinaire
But he gave up music very early in his life
Quitting the band and playing music completely
No one knew why!

The other represented his country at tennis  -
A player extraordinaire
But he gave up tennis very early in his life, too
Quitting the national team and playing tennis completely
No one knew why!

ltbs

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the dark place where it leads.
Erica Jong

Dedicated to the memory of my uncle, Francis Yen, and a friend, Simon Yeo